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The seeds that were planted on good ground are people who also hear the word. But they keep it in their good and honest hearts and produce what is good despite what life may bring.

Luke 8:15 (GOD’S WORD Translation)

Husband: How are you feeling?

Me: (Obviously upset): Good!

Husband: Nooo … what are you feeling?

Me (even more upset): Good!

Husband: Okay.

Me: Wait no! You’re supposed to keep asking me questions!

Husband: Okay… so how are you feeling?

 The burden of being perfect

Ok, so lesson one from the first 3 months of marriage: honesty = good! Being real about the messy stuff I think and feel is way hard for me. I’ve always wanted to be “good;” maybe you can relate … a good kid, good student, good friend, good worker, good wife … but I’ve also always thought being good means being perfect, not letting things affect me, not showing emotion, not burdening other people, and never making mistakes.  The stress of that can be way too much to handle.

Marriage teaches me that my husband would much rather know what I am really feeling so we can be closer and he can help me, than have to guess while I pretend like I’m fine.

The relief of being honest

Luke 8 teaches that the same is true with God. To God, a good heart is an honest heart, not a perfect heart. This is so relieving to me! A person with a good heart spiritually is someone who doesn’t hide what they really think. They let down; they get real about feelings, fears, desires, guilt, anger, insecurity, and sin (Psalm 51:6, Psalm 32:1-5).

Start with prayer

One thing I’ve been working at daily this week is letting down with God about my real thoughts and feelings, about everything from finances to fears in leadership and relationships. That’s not natural for me, but one thing that helps is knowing how much God delights in hearing the details of my life (Psalm 37:23-24)  And, just like in my marriage, I feel closer to him. And when I feel close and secure like that, I know I can help other people no matter what life may bring, just like the scripture says.

  • What can you do this week to build a closer, more honest relationship with God?

  • What areas of your life do you have the hardest time letting down about?

Decide to talk to God daily about those areas of your life and build a more loving and secure relationship with him!

Written by

Amy Query

Amy Query is an editor of BACC Inspire and avid reader. She studied psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, and has over a decade of experience in mentoring, counseling and community organizing.