- The Word of God
- A willing heart
- A family that needs your leadership
People can build on that foundation using gold, silver, jewels, wood, grass, or straw. 13 But the work that each person does will be clearly seen, because the Day will make it plain. That Day will appear with fire, and the fire will test everyone’s work. 14 If the building they put on the foundation still stands, they will get their reward.
1 Corinthians 3: 12-14 ERV
An undervalued key to building a great family is leadership. Family life rarely follows an orderly schedule or blueprint, so the urgent and ongoing needs of our family can easily displace the important convictions required to spiritually lead at home.
It is important to stop and evaluate the kind of family our leadership is building. Is it spiritual? Is it emotionally resilient? Does our family live by conviction or emotion? Is our family happy? Is it unified? Does our family value marriage, love, and honesty over achievement? Do we show our family how to care for others? What we value is what we will build. And as the scripture above says, what we build will be our reward. Every family needs spiritual leadership that values love and honesty.
Lead In Love
“Most important of all, love each other deeply, because love makes you willing to forgive many sins.”
1 Peter 4:8 ERV
Loving deeply is “most important” because love produces a willingness to forgive and resolve sin. Spiritual leadership makes love a priority in the family. Without spiritual leadership, family relationships are vulnerable to resentment and other distancing sins. Leadership is vital for keeping our family relationships close. Leadership does not ignore sin, or avoid messy conversations. Leadership works to resolve conflict and teaches how to forgive and value one another. Leadership builds love.
Lead In Honesty
Love should always make us tell the truth. Then we will grow in every way and be more like Christ, the head 16 of the body. Christ holds it together and makes all of its parts work perfectly, as it grows and becomes strong because of love.
Ephesians 4: 15-16 CEV
Love tells the truth and truth makes a family strong. It takes vulnerability to tell the truth. The process of telling the truth matures us and makes us more like Christ. Being truthful provides an example for our children to follow. It teaches them that honesty, especially about our shortcomings, mistakes, dreams and sins, is welcomed and wanted.
When truth is not valued in the home, we delay maturity and set a bad example for our children. This makes us vulnerable to what I call the 3 D’s:
- deceit (lying about our sin and feelings, leading to distance)
- detachment (choosing to hide our bitterness and hurts)
- disunity (not being open about unresolved issues)
These 3 D’s create an unhealthy family. Honesty and vulnerability will produce deep and enjoyable relationships that will in turn help us experience intimacy, spirituality, and peace in our home.
Let’s take the tools of love and honesty and work to build an amazing family. What will your family look like in a year if you work hard at being loving and honest every day? Leading in this way is not always easy but essential to influencing and guiding our families to become what God intended!