Balancing Expectations between Teens and Parents

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.

1 Timothy 4:12

The relationship between teen and parent can be a roller coaster.  For teens, conversations with our parents can often feel unpredictable and challenging, and yet other times rewarding and enlightening.

Growing up I felt a lot of pressure from my dad to excel in school. I appreciated his high expectations because they pushed me to work hard, but sometimes his drive for achievement drove me crazy!  There were times when I knew my dad’s expectation for what I could handle exceeded my actual ability.  I definitely wanted to excel, but I had to have countless conversations with my parents about my own limits and my own goals. Sometimes those conversations were hard because I was afraid of disappointing my dad or feeling like I failed, but the Bible taught me how to be confident, set an example by prioritizing God, and give my whole heart to everything I did.

Most teens feel like there’s a huge gap in understanding between our parents and us. Yet the bible actually teaches that as young people, we have the ability to inspire the people around us.  Our relationship with our parents can serve as a testing ground for becoming the examples God wants us to be for others.  Whatever our dreams, we all need conversations that guide and train us to reach them.

Two simple ways the Bible teaches teens to build powerful and confident relationships are:

1- Speak Up

Ezekiel 2 talks about how we have the obligation to speak up to others.  If you need to open up and be honest about something, or if you see someone in the wrong in a situation, or if a friend of yours needs direction, then you should share your thoughts.  It takes courage, but speaking the truth opens the doors for growth, for you and your parents.

2- Listen

Once you share what needs to be said, then take time to listen, as in James 1:19. Our parents have been through many situations similar to the ones we are going through.  If we are willing to listen to what they have to say, it may be the direction and guidance we need to direct us on the path to truly achieve our dreams.

Take a stand. Decide to lead by example: get a dream, share it, and ask for help. Who knows who you will inspire?!?

• What conversation do you need to have with your parents in order to work together to achieve your dreams?

•  In what ways can you decide to be an example to your family?  How are you going to do that?