Accepting God’s Standard for Husbands

As husbands we’ve heard the old adage that a happy wife leads to a happy life. There is much truth to that statement. Only by embracing God’s standard for your role as a husband will you learn to produce the kind of marriage, family, and home that is truly happy and meaningful.

28 Even so husbands should love their wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. 29 For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and carefully protects and cherishes it, as Christ does the church…

Ephesians 5:28-29 (AMP)

Nourishing Your Wife

Nourish: To provide substance necessary for life & growth. To foster the development of.

20 The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value. 21 The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of sense.

Proverbs 10:20-21 (NIV)

It is only the words of the righteous that nourish people. However, a wicked heart will trump all words that you say. You can express poetic & encouraging words, but if you do it with a wicked heart, your heart is what is going to speak the loudest.

29 The Lord is far from the wicked, but He hears the prayer of the [consistently] righteous (the upright, in right standing with Him). 30 The light in the eyes [of him whose heart is joyful] rejoices the hearts of others, and good news nourishes the bones.

Proverbs 15:29-30 (AMP)

God hears the prayer of the righteous. The righteous have a joyful heart that is able to nourish others. Unless you are righteous (in right standing with God) you are not able to nourish & rejoice the heart of others. The ability to nourish your wife’s spirit is dependent on your own righteousness.

34 Then Jesus explained: “My nourishment comes from doing the will of God, who sent me, and from finishing his work.

John 4:34 (NLT)

We get nourished when we obey the will of God. You nourish people when you help them to obey God & please him.

Carefully Protecting Your Wife

To Protect: To keep from being damaged, attacked, stolen, or injured; guard

7 The people of Israel will again live under my protection. They will grow like the grain, they will bloom like a vine, and they will be as famous as the wine of Lebanon.

Hosea 14:7 (NCV)

When you protect someone you create an environment where they grow and blossom.

8 You people, praise our God; loudly sing his praise. 9 He protects our lives and does not let us be defeated.

Psalm 66:8-9 (NCV)

When you protect someone, you do not allow them to be defeated. You do not let their faith to be defeated. You do not allow Satan to defeat them.

26 Those who respect the Lord will have security, and their children will be protected.

Proverbs 14:26 (NCV)

You will protect those that you love when you respect God. When you respect God & are righteous in your relationship with him you will be secure. When you are secure, you will provide the kind of environment in your home that protects everyone in it.

Cherishing Your Wife

Cherish: To keep or cultivate with care and affection. To nurture

The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.

Ephesians 5:23-24 (MSG)

A husband leads his wife by cherishing her, not domineering. Cherishing pulls, while domineering pushes

7 The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. 8 Cherish her, and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you.

Proverbs 4:7-8 (NIV)

Wisdom starts with understanding. When you cherish understanding your wife, you’ll end up cherishing your wife. How much time do you spend trying to understand your wife?

Questions/Application

• How much thought have you given to your role as a husband?
• How often in a week’s time do you consider your wife to understand her better?
• Have you ever done a Bible study on God’s expectation of husbands?
• Do you draw any parallels to your relationship with your wife and your relationship with God when you consider how seriously you take responsibility for your role in your marriage?

Prayer Ideas

• Devote allotted time in your prayer every day to considering your wife.
• Each day act on what you pray about.

Additional Reading

Do a word search in the Bible on: Nourish, Protect, Cherish to develop your own convictions about your role as a husband.

Recommended books:

• “Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy” by Gary Thomas
• “Husbands Who Won’t Lead & Wives Who Won’t Follow” by James Walker
• “Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful in Your Marriage” by John and Stasi Eldredge
• “Staying Close: Stopping the Natural Drift Toward Isolation in Marriage” by Dennis Rainey
• “Strengthening Your Marriage” by Wayne Mack