How do you stay close and grow in your marriage while life competes for your attention? I believe the answer is to take time to reflect. Reflecting means examining our priorities and how we’re building.

If we don’t take time to reflect, we may end up thinking everything is fine when it’s not. Then, we suddenly wonder why we are feeling lonely or easily hurt over things that aren’t really that big of a deal. Making time to reflect on our marriage can give us clarity and can help us gain understanding. It will help us see who we need to become for each other. When we reflect, it’s much easier to be transparent and able to see areas we need God’s guidance.

How much time have you been taking to reflect on your marriage? Take some time for reflection by reading the Scriptures and answering the questions below.


  1. Proverbs 27:19 (GNT) It is your own face that you see reflected in the water and it is your own self that you see in your heart.
  2. Ezekiel 18:28 (NIV) Because they consider all the offenses they have committed and turn away from them, that person will surely live;…
  3. Psalm 119:59 (NLT) says “I pondered the direction of my life, and I turned to follow your laws”.
  4. Psalm 119:15 (GW) I want to reflect on your guiding principles and study your ways.
  5. Hebrews 10:24 (VOICE) – Let us consider how to inspire each other to greater love and to righteous deeds…

Questions for reflection:

  • How hard have I been fighting to read and apply the Bible to my life?
  • In what areas of my marriage do I feel stuck? Do we have any patterns that are difficult for us to break?
  • In what areas of my marriage do I tend to believe my emotions or past experience more than the Bible?
  • Am I willing to take the initiative to change in the areas I do see?
  • What do I admire about my spouse?
  • What can I learn from my spouse?

Practical application:

Taking the time to think about our marriage helps us see the progress we are making, identify needs that could be going unmet and get encouragement from hurdles you have overcome.

Arrange a night this week that you and your spouse can get uninterrupted time to talk about your marriage. Prepare for that time by praying to be transparent. Share with your spouse things you’re learning as a result of reflecting and one area you want to grow in your marriage. Choose a couple in the Bible that you could study together that will help you change together.

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