Dates are great! They’re fun, exciting, and memorable … or at least they have the potential to be. As much as we look forward to going out and being asked out, fears and insecurities can easily stifle our excitement and anticipation.
Have you ever had a million worst-case scenarios going through your mind before a date, during a date, and after a date? What if he thinks I’m boring? What if it’s awkward? What if I get something stuck in my teeth? Or dress? Or shoe? What if it gets quiet? What if I can’t think of anything to say? What if I can’t keep the conversation going?
One of the most uncomfortable date moments is when you blank out and have no idea how to make the conversation flow. But fear not! Lack of conversation flow often stems from an increase in anxiety and/or insecurity from one or both parties. Luckily, the Bible has a few simple conversation tips that can salvage your night, no matter where your anti-flow is coming from.
1) Be Interested
Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.
Philippians 2:3-4 NLT
Super simple. Just be interested in the other person. Ask what they like to do for fun, the best memory they have from high school, their favorite music and the best concert they’ve been to. Ask about their family, roommates, and friends. There are so many things you can ask if you don’t know the person too well, but if you do, then get deeper and get to know more about them!
However, be prepared to answer the same questions. Whatever you expect from the other person should be fair game to expect from yourself as well.
2) Be Funny
Worry weighs us down; a cheerful word picks us up.
Proverbs 12:25 MSG
No pressure here, but it’s actually really attractive and refreshing when someone knows how to laugh at themselves. Tell a joke or say a funny story about yourself! Don’t worry about embarrassing yourself. It helps the other person let down, forget themselves for a second, and laugh with you. Maybe they’ll say something funny about themselves too, and before you know it you’ll be flowing.
3) Be Yourself
My hope is in you, so may goodness and honesty guard me.
Psalms 25:21 NCV
It may seem cliche, but there is something very attractive about a person confident enough to be themselves. Try saying one honest thing when you can’t get any flow going. If you’re insecure, then just put it out there, and move on. If you just had a bad day, tell them about it, but don’t be a downer. If there’s something on your mind, then let them in and be honest about your life. Not only will it be endearing, but it’ll also be an invitation for the other person to do the same.