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As much as we may love this time of year, let’s face it: the holidays can be a battlefield if you’re single. When your extended family prods a little too far into your personal life, or you find yourself surrounded by couple-y Christmas songs everywhere you turn, don’t despair! A few simple choices can go a long way in making your holidays a whole lot happier.

I made a lot of mistakes as a single woman over the holidays, and I wrote this so you can avoid them!

Think Beyond Thanksgiving

Last year I had great plans for Thanksgiving day… but I forgot about the day after. When Friday came most of my friends were either out of town or visiting family.

Avoid this mistake by planning ahead. If you start thinking, “I’ll be okay by myself,” don’t believe it! You won’t be okay by yourself. We all need family, especially during this time of year. Take a look at this scripture:

12 If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall. 13 The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.

1 Corinthians 10:12

God is faithful, and he won’t allow the temptation to feel alone during the holidays be more than we can bear. We all need families and God provides them (Psalm 68:6), sometimes in non-traditional ways. Ask friends ahead of time if you can spend time with them and their families over Thanksgiving weekend. You’ll have a great time, and most families really enjoy providing a home this time of year.

Think Outside the Box

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Romans 12:2

One big mistake we often make over the holidays is letting the world around us define what it means to be “happy.” We have to change our view that Christmas isn’t merry unless it includes chestnuts roasting on an open fire and walking in a winter wonderland.

Instead, do things you genuinely look forward to over the holidays. What have you been wanting to do, but haven’t had time for? Plan times with friends where you build memories, and don’t feel like you have to do traditional “holiday” things. Try a new Indian restaurant, walk across the Golden Gate bridge, or take a road trip with friends.

Think Faith

… the Lord has told you what is good,
and this is what he requires of you:
to do what is right, to love mercy,
and to walk humbly with your God.

Micah 6:8

This is a great time of year to go after having a breakthrough in your walk with God. Some of my favorite memories of walking and talking with God have been over the holidays.  For a few days in November and December we tend to have a bit more time. Take advantage of it, and build memories with God.

Choose a new place to pray, or set yourself a spiritual goal you are excited about.  Try reading the New Testament in the month of December or taking walks and praying daily. You’ll start January refreshed and ready to take on the new year with faith.

Written by

Amy Query

Amy Query is an editor of BACC Inspire and avid reader. She studied psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, and has over a decade of experience in mentoring, counseling and community organizing.